Chapter Text
I almost reached out to catch his hand as I saw him reaching for his mask. Is he actually insane? Without so much as a word about it Deadpool pulled his mask off. With one swift movement he had exposed his face fully, just for me. All his vulnerability was displayed for my taking, he gave me all that power without hesitation, put his heart right in my palms and let me do whatever with it, not knowing how I would react to it. He looked scared too, in a way only he can. There was just something about how still he was, how demure he all of a sudden became, that told me he was freaking out internally. Proving my hypothesis that a lot, not all, but a lot of the jokes and the constant blabbering was restricted to the mask, to Deadpool. Not the man standing in front of me, who is so much more than just the merc with the month. I lifted my hand up to his face, slowly cupping his left cheek in my hand and stroking the sacred skin carefully with my thumb. Letting my thumb get familiar with every bump and every divot within its reach. Drowning in his white eyes, which were so expensive even though they were missing color completely. Letting my eyes dance upon his sturdy bone structure, he was quite handsome, and I couldn't for the life of me understand the people who had rejected him before solely based on his skin and lack of hair… he was nowhere near the monster he was making himself out to be. He was gorgeous. And it felt like I could look at his face and get lost for hours, finding new bumps, new scars and new details my eyes hadn't caught before.
I let my hand fall to my side as my other hand reached for my own mask. I didn't let myself think about it too much, I didn't want to seem hesitant now that he had been so vulnerable with me. I swallowed hard and pulled the fabric over and off my head. My other hand was quick to run it's way through my hair quickly to get it out of my face so he could get a proper look. It was scary, so scary. To be this vulnerable with someone, to actually expose myself, like he had a couple of seconds ago. To give him my heart in his palms as an exchange for his. It made my stomach turn and my hands sweat, my Spidey sense was tingling around him for the first time in a very long time and made the hairs on my arms and neck stand straight. The silence between us lasted a couple of seconds, and it was nothing but suffocating! I think I was even holding my own breath. Until he reached out and put his thumb over my lower lip. I could practically taste the leather on his gloves and the smell of gunpowder and grime filled my senses.
- See, I was right, you're really cute. You look like Bambi.
- The little elk?
- … Elk? See now you ruined it.
I chuckled softly, nervously… It was mostly air since my voice was barely intelligible. He sounded so calm all of a sudden, as if my nervousness gave him leverage. Which… it did. He had the upper hand here, he was the big handsome brute with enough ego to rule the world. I couldn't even bring myself to say no to MJ’s clubbing invitations.
- He's not an elk?
- A deer…
- Same sh*t.
- Please tell me you're not homeschooled.
I let out another chuckle, preparing myself to get myself out of his enchanting grasp before I do anything stupid… but he beat me to it and slowly pressed his scarred lips upon mine. Softly and gently, as if I would break under him like a delicate vase. And I might, this was my first kiss since me and MJ had to force a kiss in front of May to convince her of our non existing heterosexuality. And it was nothing like that, it was everything but a forced attempt to hide. I was crumbling under the touch of his lips, falling apart. Coming undone and melting into putty as he kissed me. I could hear my blush rushing through my ears and body like a formula one race car. If he hadn't pulled away I would have deeped it, I would have kissed him until I lost feelings in my knees and buckled under him. But he pulled away, grinning as he did and threw a glance at the damp paper bag on the coffee table that smelled so good. I swallowed hard and pretended to be chill, to be cool about the fact that we just kissed. Even though a whirlwind of thoughts were running amok in my mind.
- I'm not homeschooled.
He snorted at my comment and started digging up our food from the bag. Are we really going back to how we were acting before we just… took our masks off and kissed? No, he kissed me, although I didn't pull away. I kissed him back. Him… Deadpool… I don't even know his real name. We kissed and I don't know his name, he doesn't know my name either! That… we can't have that. We're past the point of no return now.
- Peter.
Deadpool turned around and looked at me as if I had said the most absurd thing.
- Are you smelling toast?
- No, I'm… I'm Peter.
I reached out my hand, as if I was greeting him for the first time, just out of reflex but when I realized how stupid it must have looked I regretted it. But my nerves wouldn't let me budge, it would be weirder to pull it back now. What if he doesn't shake it? It might be better to pull back now than to have it unshaken for a longer amount of time and then reel back the hand. f*ck, I thought about for too long and now it's too late to play this off as anything other than an attempt at a handshake. He looked at me for a minute
Before he turned to me and took my hand.
- I'm Wade… you know… I always thought you were a little weird, but this is proof that you need to practice your social cues.
We sat down and ate after that, for what felt like a couple of minutes but judging by my phone a full hour had passed and we hadn't finished our tacos… too busy talking. Talking about everything, anything and nothing. About stuff I wish I could have told him about before, about my work at the magazine, how toxic my boss at Cosmic really was, gossip about the Avengers and the X-Men. He told me about some of his “gigs” as he called his mercenary jobs, although I think he purposefully left out the gory details since he knew those didn't go over too well with me. It felt just as natural as it had done prior to today. Or… almost. The tension left after the kiss had yet to leave the room. It was like a wet blanket over us, that neither of us wanted to toss away. He acknowledged it first, which was good since I wouldn't dare to.
- About the kiss…
- Yes?
- You liked it too, right? I mean… It's a great way to work off tension after what we've spent the night doing. We could… go further. Maybe not 11th base but…
- 11th?
- What do you say?
Was he suggesting that we should have sex? The warm fuzzy feeling was back in my lower abdomen and the blossoming warmth of a blush covered my face. I really need to get a handle on my body. This could be a good idea. He knew both sides of the coin that is me now, he knew the risks we took everyday by doing what we do and… heck he is both funny and handsome. It might work… or… maybe not. Even if I took the bait I'm sure it wouldn't become anything of it. He wouldn't want me clinging onto him, like a tic. Because that is how it would go, no? If I got a crush on him… I won't settle for casual hookups, would I? I would want him as my boyfriend or become mad over the fact that we weren't a couple and just… start holding onto the time we had together in an unhealthy manner and become overbearing as a person to be around. So I can't do this… I can't give in. He will ruin me, break me and shatter me… leave me in pieces I have to pick up myself and glue back together. And no matter how good of a job I do of putting myself together again… there will always be cracks that will remind me of this. Of him. I can't let him do that to me, I can't let me do that to me.
- I don't think that's a very smart idea, Wade.
- Oh?
- No… I… you might be able to keep things casual in the sheets and professional in the streets but I don't think I am capable of that.
- What makes you think that?
- It's… more of a feeling I have… based on… well… speculations.
- How have your hookups been before?
I had nothing to say to that, literally. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation anymore. I hadn't been with anyone like that, let alone a hookup. Wade seemed to pick up on my silence and his lips spread into a sh*t eating grin and he narrowed in his gaze towards me that gripped onto my very essence.
- See, I thought you were a bad kisser, not a virgin. You're full of surprises, aren't you?
- Virginity is a social construct…
- So is gender but we're still playing that game, aren't we Mr. He/Him?
Wade leaned in, his large figure almost casting a shadow over mine. He cupped the right side of my face with his left hand and stroked it before he slowly let it go to the back of my head where he gently grabbed a handful of hair and slowly ripped my head backwards, exposing my neck for him. He leaned in and traced small kisses from my collarbone up to my ear. And even though I couldn't see his grin I knew he had one since I could feel his lips stretch on my skin. His breath against my ear gave me goosebumps and my whole body seemed to relax.
- I would take really good care of you, be really good to you, babyboy. I can make sure it would be very pleasurable.
He gave me another kiss, but a much wetter one and right under the ear, making every heightened sense I had go into overdrive. I gasped and swallowed hard. It was as if he knew exactly where to aim his touches, as if he knew what would make me cave. Which wasn't that odd, considering that he had been fighting alongside me for a while now, he must be the one who knows my body next to me. I would have protested, punched him in the face and thrown him out of my apartment… If I didn't want this. But since I do… it was much harder to argue against it. Maybe this one time… just once. My emotions be damned… I wanted this badly. Really bad.
- I'll need a yes from you Webs… I'm not gon-...
- Yes, f*ck… just… yes. But… okay wait… ground rules.
I withdrew from his grasp and met his gaze.
- I want to look at you… while we do it, so not from behind, not the first time.
- The first time? Are you suggesting we do it more than once?
- … And no mentioning the avengers, the itsy bitsy spider song, my organic webbing.
- Why would I mention your boss?
- And no talks about Betty White while you're inside me.
- … So many rules, but I'll try! Safe word?
- Banana hammock.
He leaned in again, but this time his lips crashed onto mine. And not gently and sweet like the first kiss, but eagerly, hungrily. Wade didn't stop leaning in until I started to lean back myself, laying down on the couch. Wade propped himself up with one hand against the arm of the couch, making his muscles tense up in a way that made his biceps look huge. His free hand started stroking me over my chest, and found its way to my right nipple surprisingly quick. But he accidentally pressed against the spider on my chest and my suit loosened up. Wade stopped kissing me and glanced down at my suit with wide eyes. He pressed the slide again and the suit tightened, then he pressed the spider again and the suit loosened. The giggles that escaped him were cute, but not cute enough to get me off.
- Can you stop and like… undress me?
- Iron-Daddy sure hooked you up with some tech…
- Iron-Daddy?
- f*ck, I already broke a rule… Let's free you from this contraption.
Wade started to take off my suit but stopped when he got the gloves off my hands. His thumb stroked over my spinnerets and pressed down lightly and a web strand shot out. I bit my lower lip and looked up at him, his eyes had widened even more, clearly there was a lot to explore, our bodies weren't simply “normal” bodies. They did… stuff.
- I'm so hard right now.
- That's why I haven't had sex… that would blow my cover.
- Right… but… what a waste… imagine what we could do…
- Wade…
- Right, right. I'm sorry, let's get you off first.
- You mean the suit?
- Both.
It was a weird feeling being completely naked around someone who was completely dressed! I've never been this exposed before, not with someone else at least and he was still in his suit. I reached out to undress him but he just shook his head. Telling me I'd had to wait, that he needed to do something else first. He say up and looked down at me, and even though there weren't any pupils to tell me where he fixed his gaze I could tell that he was scanning me up and down.
- You're so f*cking perfect… every single inch is pure perfection.
And without warning he pulled my legs over his shoulders and dragged me up a bit, before he lowered himself… really low. His breath tickled my inner thigh as he placed small pecks down them and as he got closer to my co*ck he deepened them to kisses, sucking and biting on my skin. Not hard enough to puncture the skin but enough to make me jerk my thigh muscles. Wade gripped the base of my co*ck firmly and pulled back my foreskin. It was already hard, leaking precum. I hadn't noticed until now, how quickly my body reached to his touches, kisses and overall presence. I whined when he started stroking me, and groaned when he took my co*ck head to his mouth. His wet and warm mouth. My body tensed and I bucked my hips away from him by pure reflex. He chuckled and eased himself up.
- You really are a virgin, aren't you?
I wasn't given the grace to respond before he went down again, but it didn't last long, I bet he felt how close I was already, and wanted to drag it out even more. That bastard. But his tongue was apparently not done with me just yet, as he licked down my balls to my crack. He spread my cheeks with his hands and dove right in, not giving me any time to prepare for the sensation of his eager tongue against my entrance. I gasped and my hips tried to buck away again but to no success, he put his arms around my thighs and held me firmly in place on his face. Wade was humming, moaning into me as he rimmed me, eating me as if I was a “all you can eat”-Chinese buffet. I was moaning and squirming, leaking more precum than I had ever done before, and I felt my balls tense up, my core too. I was so close.
- f*ck Peter, you taste so good, I can't wait to eat my own cum our of you when we're done, clean you up…
His muffled moans get through and become the drop that made the cup overflow. I curled my toes as I came and spasmed… I couldn't keep my moans at bay but just let the echo of them bounce off the walls as the waves of my klimax started to sipper out to nothing more than a pulsating ring muscle. He loosened his grip around my thighs and sat up, looking at me yet again. He dipped his index finger in the warm puddle of cum on my stomach and moved the ginger up to his mouth and tasted it.
- That was so hot… you still game? Because I'm so not done with you.
- … Yes, please. Continue.
He dipped his finger in my cum again but this time he didn't take it to his mouth but smeared it on my entrance before gently pushing his finger in. The feeling of a finger up my ass wasn't foreign, I've done that myself before, but his fingers were thicker and longer than mine, that's for sure. He felt so big, but so good.
- Damn, Spidey. You're just as tight as Tony Stark's wallet. And here I thought you were being flipped around in the avengers tower like a pancake in a frying pan!
- You weren't supposed to mention-...
My complaining was drowned out by my own moan as Wade's index finger pressed against the bundle of nerves within me. I curled my toes and glared at him, not sure why I did so. He just grinned back and chuckled triumphantly.
- There we go.
He continued testing my prostate until he deemed me relaxed enough, then he opened up one of his pouches on his suit and pulled out a bottle of lube. I co*cked an eyebrow towards him. But I didn't question him about it, since I didn't want an answer in return. I couldn't think of a single good reason for carrying lube on one's person, if it weren't for this specific reason that is. But you never really know with Deadpool, he could carry it on him for all the wrong reasons too… like… lubing up the stairs in the avengers tower just to see Banner slip and fall, or make mjölnir really slippery…
As I lost myself in my thoughts on what he could be doing with the bottle I felt a strange sensation against my entrance, it didn't feel like skin, but… plastic. I raised my head and looked at him. I opened my mouth to say something but then the thing entered me.
- … What is that?
- The lube.
- What?
- Just the tip, it's rounded so it doesn't hurt…
- Wait what are you…?
Then he squeezed the bottle, emptying it inside me. I gasped, putting my hand over my mouth as the sensation of cold lube filling me sent shivers down my spine. What in the world is he doing? What if it leaks onto the couch? I'll never get the stains out! Wade slowly removed the tip of the bottle and as soon as I felt the end of it leave my body I clenched.
- Wait, what are you doing?
- It's gonna ruin the couch!
- Wait, this couch can get worse? Whaaa…
- Let's… let's continue this in the shower…
- Oh, this is just getting better and better! Wait there, I'll undress and carry you in… bridal style.
He said the last part as if it was supposed to be sexy, but I was more worried about the threat of all the lube leaking out of me… or worse, trying to make it to the bathroom and ruin the carpet which was much more expensive to replace than my sh*tty couch. So Wade's option was the only saving grace there was at the moment, that wouldn't put me in financial ruin that is. But he was awfully slow, undressing himself, taken, he had many things to unbutton and I think I heard at least a couple of zippers being zipped down. I tried not to relax too much, but clenching for so long was starting to take its tull, I won't be able to do this for much longer, but I didn't want to waste my efforts on snapping at him to hurry and in turns loose the focus on my own asshole which seemed like the bigger issue at hand.
Wade scooped me up when he was completely undressed, I didn't get a proper look at his naked body until he had carried me into the bathroom. When he put me down on my feet I turned around and looked him up and down. His scars covered his whole body, from head to toe. But he was huge, tall, well built, so well built. Cap could throw himself out the window with his muscles in comparison to Wade… surely. And his co*ck… scarred like the rest of him but huge. He was going to ruin my body… spit me in two or something. As I was taking in the glory that was Wade's body I felt a warm liquid running down my thigh. Thank god we made it here at least. He looked down and grinned.
- Ah, dinner is ready.
I snorted and he picked me up and leaned me against the cold tile wall, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he alined his co*ck with my entrance, stroking his co*ck while doing it and coating it with the lube that was leaking out of me like a broken faucet. Wade moaned against my neck and slowly started to push himself into me. I clenched my jaw but tried to relax the lover part of my body so it wouldn't hurt too much. But the sounds he made were like numbing cream for the spring that I felt when he bottomed out. His moans, groans as hitching breaths sent the electric waves of arousal through my body anew and I was hard, again. And when he started moving, thrusting into me, I couldn't help but to moan too, and our sounds married together in a weird symphony. I placed my hand on my own co*ck, and my thumb over the slit where a bead of precum had formed to stop any progress towards an org*sm. Wade's hand reached for mine but I shook my head.
- No, I want to cum with you.
- f*ck, I'm close too…
But… it didn't seem like it. He continued thrusting into me, at the same pace and force, and his moans suddenly stopped… the lewd noises from our bodies colliding and my moans were the only sounds bouncing off the walls. I turned my attention to Wade's face, he seemed… focused but on something else. Or looked as if he was reading a very disappointing email… his body was rigid… like he was when I suspected that he was deep in his own head. Deep in a conversation… perhaps. I let go of my co*ck and cupped his face, turned it towards mine and kissed him deeply. Hoping it would bring him back to our little moment rather than losing him to his own despair in a moment like this.
- Cum in me, I want you so bad, Wade.
And that seemed to do it for the both of us. He cussed under his breath and gripped my hips and thrusted himself into me at a quicker pace and much harder, crashing into my prostate every time. And just like that, our moans filled the room again and my toes curled as our bodies spasmed together, in a moment that was so much sweeter than I thought it would be, so much more intimate than I thought sex could be. We stayed like that for a moment, and I carefully untangled myself out of the sticky webbing I had accidentally shot on the sides of his face as we came, then he carefully slipped himself out of me. He reached for the shower switch and turned it on, and the cold water soothed my warm skin. But then he put me down on my feet and turned me around, pressing my chest to the tiles and he squatted down, spread my cheeks and dove in just like he had done before. Broken moans escaped from Wade while he, again, ate me out. I whined at the overwhelming amount of stimulation as I hadn't even been able to ride out the last after quakes of my second org*sm.
- Is it distracting?
- What?
- … The voices? Are they distracting?
- I… have you read my file?
- No. I have not. Didn't know you had one.
- Then how did you know about…
- I could tell. You talk a lot to yourself… but not like I do. I just like… voice my inner monologue. You verbalize your part of an inner dialogue.
He put the toothpaste on his toothbrush, and then on a spare one and handed it to me before he took his own toothbrush to the mouth and started brushing his teeth tiredly. His limbs were still so loose and slow, his hair still dripping wet and he had abandoned the towel he had dried himself with. And so did I… as I hung it up next to his. I took a moment to observe him, again. His face was… immaculate. He was maybe the prettiest man I'd ever laid my eyes on… it was almost embarrassing being next to him… embarrassing to stand so close to the sun and not get burnt. His thick eyebrows, the big brown doe eyes… the perfect set of full lips… the cute nose… the cheekbones! He looked like he had just jumped out of a 90s Calvin Klein ad. And Peter was smarter than I had given him credit for. I didn't think he was unintelligent by any means, but he was really paying attention in a way I didn't think young men could. I mean, it's in the league of the special forces. His perception was amazing. I was surprised over the fact that he was so cool about it too, as if my mess of a mind weren't anything major to worry about.
//He is being really level headed, we need someone like that.//
((Let's suck him off while he brushes his teeth!!))
- … Aren't you a clever little spider? Why aren't you in some university collecting debt like other smart people?
- I was doing that. Until Spider-Man got in the way, like he usually does. I failed a class and lost my scholarship. So I couldn't afford the tuition.
- So your side hustle became your main hustle… the photography.
- Yeah.
((He is too sweet for us))
//Poor thing, he doesn't deserve that, stupid Stark for not paying for his education… Why isn't he paying for university? Are we missing something? Isn't he the platonic sugar daddy?//
It must be a little more complicated than that!
- … So… is it?
- Huh?
- Distracting?
- Yeah. Sometimes… When did you notice?
- Our first patrol.
- That's… like a year ago. And you didn't say anything, or ask about it?
- No, it's not my place. I only did it now because you seemed distracted in the shower, so I felt like asking…
- Right, you knew but still continued to work with me… and then let me take your virginity? You might be more insane than I am.
- Your schizophrenia doesn't bother me.
- My psychopathy then?
- You're not a psychopath.
- Oh, but I am! I have it on a paper, signed by a doctor. You can tell that it's real because the fancy handwriting is unintelligible.
- You're not a psychopath, Wade.
- Should I be worried about you? Should I call your parents and tell them they did a lousy job with telling you about red flags?
Peter stopped brushing his teeth for a moment and looked into the bathroom mirror blankly. There was something about how empty and apathetic his gaze was that stung right in the feels. He was silent for what felt like an hour, but was probably only a couple of seconds. But those seconds told me enough to make me feel very guilty about what I said.
//They’re dead, aren't they?//
((Poor baby boy! He is just like the stray dogs on the tv ads!))
//We screwed that up! We made him think about his dead parents and now he is sad!//
f*ck f*ck f*ck. I winced. f*ck! I should have known, or guessed. I should have made a qualified guess that he had a f*cked up family history, just like the rest of us. Never, ever, bring up family matters with a hero. They will spiral… but if Peter spirals he'll just… go out and fight crime with a broken focus. That could kill him, he doesn't have an awesome healing factor like I have, he is not regenerering as quickly as some others after an injury. Sure, quicker than a normie but not quick enough to let his guard down… or think about dead parents while fighting. Peter spat some toothpaste mixed with his saliva into the sink and started brushing his teeth again. As if I didn't step on one of his sorest toes a couple of seconds ago.
- You're not a psychopath.
- I'm sorry… I didn't mean…
- See, you're apologizing even. A psychopath wouldn't.
- They can read rooms.
- Yeah, but they don't wince when they think they accidentally hurt someone.
- Did I? Did I hurt you?
- No, no you didn't.
Should I be more open with him?
//No, don't ruin this for us!//
((Be open! Maybe… maybe leave out some parts. But give him enough so we can score again!!!))
I want more than to score…
//That's not going to happen and you know it//
- … I call them yellow and white.
- Yellow and white?
- Yes… because that's how they color their boxes in the comic… and for continuity I think it would be better to keep it that way here too.
- Is it just them?
- For the most part.
He nodded, but I knew I didn't make much sense to him, I could see the cogs turning in his head and how he then gave up on trying to understand. Like most other people, but he didn't look frustrated or angry about it… nor freaked out. He smiled and pulled me in for a kiss, and I kissed him back. Even though I know I shouldn't… this might not have been the best idea.
//Relax, it's not like he likes us like that, it's a courtesy kiss. He will want us out of here soon enough.//
Yeah… hopefully… I can't forgive myself if I hurt him by just… being me.
He pulled away and smiled, then he dragged me out to the living room where we teamed up on pulling out the couch and making the bed together, in silence, but pleasant silence. We crawled into bed together, and he immediately found his way to my body, but not in a secual way, he wrapped his legs around my waist and hugged me, wrapping his arms around my neck and letting a hand rest on top of my scalp. I wasn't used to getting skin on skin like this. It was so calm, so gentle and so intimate while still being… non sexual. The way he was stoking his thumb over my scalp, so carefully and gently. He was touching me, willingly and affectionately, skin to skin. And not gently in the sense that he was disgusted and didn't want to commit to it, but gently as in it being mindful. Mindful of how sensitive my skin was. It didn't feel as though he was going to pull away at any second. It felt like he was content with touching me, that he enjoyed it even? And I heard my own breathing getting slower and deeper, my usually tense back muscles felt as if they were melting off my bones and my body became heavy. Peter humming and breathing set the pace for my own breathing, calm and collected…
And that's when I knew… that I was not going to be able to quit him without losing myself in the process.
