The 5 Minute Cure to Your Kid's Snotty Attitude and Back Talk (2024)

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When you ask your child to do something, does she respond with a rude tone of voice and sarcasm? Take back control in a loving way with this parenting tip of the 5 minute cure to your kid’s snotty attitude and back talk.

You are the parent and do not have to put up with unacceptable attitude from your child. With this strategy, you’ll learn how to turn the situation around quickly.

The 5 Minute Cure to Your Kid’s Snotty Attitude and Back Talk

Here is how the 5 minute cure to your kid’s snotty attitude and back talk works. Think of this as your parenting tip from a mom who has been there, done that. (Many times over – we have 5 kids had and 35 foster kids!)

The 5 Minute Cure to Your Kid's Snotty Attitude and Back Talk (1)

Step One: Say “Check.”

When your child says something to you in a rude tone of voice, say “Check.” This is a quick way to give him a chance to improve his words with no consequence given. If he can correct the tone of voice when you say, “check”, move on with your day.

This correction by the child has to be excellent. Don’t take a half-correction here, or rudeness will continue. He needs to re-say the phrase in a respectful and kind tone of voice.

Step Two: Hold My Hands.

If your child was not able to correct himself after a “check”, hold your child’s two hands in your two hands. Look into his eyes and say, “I want you to complete a 5 minute chore for me now. Do you know why that is?” Your child needs to make eye contact with you and explain the reason.

Do not skip this heart connection.

Obviously if your child is older or has sensory issues, you’ll need to adapt to what works best for your situation. The key here is to make sure you are not just rudely barking directions at your child. Take a minute to connect on a deeper level.

Be firm and loving but direct. Remember, the goal here is stopping kids’ back talk and that’s worth a few extra minutes of your time.

Step 3: Do a 5 Minute Chore.

Your child needs to do a 5-minute chore to make up for the energy drain her negative attitude created in your day. Keep these chores short and simple. The goal is not a huge task but a quick reminder that sarcasm isn’t tolerated in your household.

You can choose the chore, have your child choose a chore from the list, or give your child the choice between 2 chores.

Here is a list of 5-minute chores we use at our house. Feel free to use this list or make up your own.

The Kid’s 5 Minute Chore List

Here is a list of 5 minute chores we use. (See below for a free printable PDF download of this list.)

  1. Sweep the kitchen floor.
  2. Wipe out the inside of the microwave.
  3. Clean the kitchen sink.
  4. Clean the bathroom sink.
  5. Clean the bathroom mirror.
  6. Vacuum the stairs.
  7. Clean scuff marks in one spot.
  8. Clean the outside of the refrigerator.
  9. Wash the table.
  10. Give Mom or Dad a 5 minute back rub.
  11. Carry dishes to the sink after a meal.
  12. Put away 1 basket of laundry.
  13. Change 1 load of laundry.
  14. Clean all the doorknobs in the house.
  15. Clean windows of front door.

Free Printable of The Kid’s 5 Minute Chore List

Download the freeSmart Parenting Hacks Printable Pack, which includes The Kid’s 5 Minute Chore List, as my gift to you right now. Get it here:

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What if Your Child Throws a Fit?

This is the question I hear most often about this 5 minute parenting technique.

Deal with the fit but then come right back to the process. If needed, write yourself a note on a post-it to remind yourself to come back to whatever step you are on when you are finished dealing with the fit. Soon your child will learn that a fit is not worth it.

Try the 5 minute cure to your kid’s snotty attitude and back talk, and soon you will have more respect in your house – or at least a cleaner microwave, so it’s a win either way.

Parenting concepts adapted from Nancy Thomas, author of When Love is Not Enough.

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The 5 Minute Cure to Your Kid's Snotty Attitude and Back Talk (2024)

FAQs

How to discipline a 7 year old for talking back? ›

Set limits ahead of time.

So if saying that something "blows" is not allowed, or if you don't appreciate his sarcastic responses to earnest explanations, make that clear. Let him know what behaviors are off-limits too. "It looks disrespectful when I talk to you and you roll your eyes. Please don't do that."

How to stop sassy backtalk? ›

Define the behavior and set boundaries.

Saying “That was rude” or “That was sassy” is too vague and can escalate the situation. Instead, point out what bothered you and even explain how it made you feel. For example: “When you say mean things, that's talking back.”

How do you talk to a disrespectful child? ›

Focus on your child's behaviour and how you feel about it. Avoid any comments about your child's personality or character. Instead of saying, 'You're rude', try something like, 'I feel hurt when you speak like that to me'. Talk about, set and use consequences, but try not to set too many.

What is a good consequence for talking back? ›

Let your child know exactly what they can and can't do, and tell them the consequences for crossing the line. You can say: “If you swear at me, I'm taking your cell phone away for 3 hours. If during that time you swear again, that 3 hours will start over again.”

How should I punish my child for being disrespectful? ›

Tell them the behavior is wrong and then disengage from them. If your child's behavior warrants a consequence, you can say, “It's not okay to call me names or swear when I tell you can't go to your friend's house. I'm taking your cell phone for two hours.

How do you get a stubborn child to talk? ›

As adults, we learn by imitating and our children do too! Imitation is a great tool for late talkers to learn to use words to communicate. First, we like to target imitation of actions and then move to words or sounds (sometimes this happens simultaneously).

Why is my child so rude and disrespectful? ›

Behavior is communication, and disrespectful behavior might be your child's way of telling you something is wrong. It could mean they need help learning socially appropriate ways to manage anger, deal with frustration, and communicate effectively. 2 Or maybe your child wants more of your time and attention.

What causes kids to have bad attitudes? ›

But what parents might perceive as bold defiance and a lack of respect from young children is often a symptom of something else, be it a lack of impulse control, an inability to self-regulate, or even a desire for attention.

What causes a child to talk back? ›

Kids talk back for a variety of reasons. They may be testing their own power to see how far they can take it. They may feel disrespected by parents who overprotect or “boss” them around. Or, they may live in a home in which respectful communication isn't a priority.

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